i went to the apartment. he sent the key. and that's it. the key, and nothing else. no words. no nothing. just a key in an envelope. it hurt, so i cried. [he cleaned up the blood. he still has my my bloody valentine cd, and i don't want to talk to him]. there was a note from him, and it makes me hate him. for being such a. coward.

i am listening to sugarcubes. music does wonders, sometimes. and i have my camera back now, and i am thrilled. i brought all my cds back, too, and i have no room for all of them. it looks horrible. and there is too much clothes too, it all seems. too much.

i have stopped taking my medicine. i don't want it. i want to change. right now. and become someone else. because i hate who i am. i really should. be someone i could like. so i will become... whatever. i don't even know. i slept in bent's apartment.