in one minute i am going to vomit. i can't believe i am doing this. i hate pills. i hate you! i hate you! stupid fucking salmon coloured things. what the hell is it you're doing to me anyway? ["one in the morning, two in the evenings"]. argh. i feel all //red pill//blue pill//purple pill//green pill// -ish. i don't think that is good.

perfume stinks a lot.

i keep running away. sometimes i figure i shouldn't. i am home alone. i am going to take a nice long hot bath. some time. during the night. hopefully fall asleep in the water, and get really sick. or something. grr. i hate this. i hate this pathetic self-destructiveness. it's so. fashionable. and i really need to vomit. pills and food. gah.

i must drink some alcohol.