i have my photobl0g back up. with my own domain. i am posting pictures that were at the old one, until i have got all the pictures i want online. i realise my writing has gone down ----------down----------- down. but it's okay. i am stressed. i am fighting my inner tv//radio.

the voices, images, moving creatures in my head are driving me crazy. sometimes i just start crying. i was in the apartment with malthe, and tears started going down my cheeks. and i couldn't even explain what was going on in my head. i wanted to, but it was so hard. it hurt.

a girl. naked. surrounded by three men. shouting at her. touching her. rubbing her. and she is crying, but at the same time she is deadly quiet. and i can't hear anything, but i see it. i see the volume of their voices, and the emptiness inside her. she is dying right before my eyes. these men are killing her. and now i am crying again.