i am trying. to get something out. my mother was in here, and she lay on my bed. and i wanted to stab her. kill her. make her stop. frustration. i wanted to cry. but i couldn't with her in here. i just needed her out.

tears are running down my cheeks, but i can't feel a thing. and it frustrates me even more.

i want to end this. it needs to stop. some how. i just. it seems stupid. pathetic. insignificant. i feel indifferent, somehow. whichever way i end up, i could care less. i just want to get it over with.

i can't describe it.