so. i was crying for two hours straight, and i can't even explain how it happened. i was sleeping, and dreaming of something that i've forgotten now because of the crying. and when i really woke up, i was crying and my mother was crying, and my sister was sitting on my bed, and my father standing next to us. it was surreal. my eyes are sore.

my mother saw the cuts on my arm, and my sister saw, and my father as well. and then they were worried, and then they were annoyed, and then my sister called me a selfish spoiled little girl, who has never done anything in her life. and i got frustrated, because i tried to explain, but she kept taking everything the wrong way and putting words into my mouth. and it was stupid. and i cried and my sister was. meh. i don't know.

so i walked out and went to the bathroom upstairs and yelled at my reflection in the mirror. i am genuinely sad right now. unhappy.