i have been feeling gloomy all day, and i don't like it one bit. i saw wojciech on sunday again, and it was good. i was supposed to have seen erik, but yeah... that was sad. and casper was supposed to have come today, but he is too drunk and doesn't have enough money, or something. and i was supposed to see erik tomorrow, but i forgot that it is my father's birthday. and i feel that things are going too fast. i can't keep up.

this weekend. i don't know what i am supposed to do. there is wojciech, erik and camilla. then there is the play i am going to, with school on sunday. jacob's going-away-party. the party kind of thing at school. and manic street preachers/mew on thursday with camilla. and i don't know what is going on! i really don't know. and i have all this homework and i feel so fucking gloomy.

i want to die. i don't want any of this. i am suffocating here. i want to get away. and nothing ever goes right. i need something to do. i should paint. i miss my camera. i want to get a w a y !