i need to write but i don't know what the fuck to put down.

i am so frustrated, what with my father, the hospital, psychiatrists, medicine, love, lack of feelings, school, my mother, this house, myself. i hate myself so fucking much right now, i can't stand it.

i want to slit my throat so fucking badly. i can't believe i can't let go. i can't fucking let her go. i am so fucking stupid.

and goddamnit. i can understand why nobody likes me. i am such a fucking burden. slit. fucking. throat. now. i am so embarrassing. stupid. stupid.

i hate me. i hate that i cannot accept reality.