i dreamt. about war. everywhere. no place left to hide, running through wet tunnels. one other girl and boy, and we hid, but it was too late. i tried to make myself invisible, but he shot, and the two others died instantly. i tried to fake being dead. but i couldn't stop breathing, and he pushed his gun hard against my throat. click. no more bullets. i begged him to let me die alone. and he left.

then a big party, with a band, peculiar lights and funny drinks. so many familiar faces, but no one aknowledged my existence. two girls wanted valdemar to hurt me, and he led me outside and that was it. i didn't understand it before i got back inside. they were animals, all of them.

i have been to one class this week. i'm fucked.