i was going to write some entry about how, when i've written one thing about how i don't feel so bad, the next day always brings something really gloomy and depressing. i don't know, i'm sick of it.

if i could shape all the bad things in my head, into a character, i would beat it up and spit on its grave. how come it's not possible to do that? i wish i hated someone. like, really hated someone. it must be so satisfying to charge all your negative energies towards one person. just because you can.

listening to sigurd calms me down, but inside i have this uneasy feeling and i am not liking it much. it feels like something is going to clash, soon. and it will ruin everything. the peace i thought i had found, will disappear. it's already happening.