my entire body aches. and i am not sure what else to write? i've had a good time. though, i still feel lonely. maybe it's better now? maybe not. i still have my countdown going...

i want to get drunk again tonight. i said to the guy at the grocery store, which is right by my house, that i will see him next weekend. i have been going there too frequently, we have started small-talking. i must go there today. i think.

this is all i can think about. i'm all. empty. i can taste smoke in my mouth. i need chocolate.