i feel i should do something to prevent my destruction, but somehow i am not sure i really care. i want to feel, need and miss without wanting to pick out my eyes and stab myself in the arm. i don't deal well with emotions, i don't think.

tell me how to do this. maybe i can take a course? would it help if i knew how to handle myself? would i not feel this way? [i can't believe i am not going to see bright eyes... (i just saw m�m and ryan adams) i need to see conor]