i stopped thinking. i used to have so many words, but i've stopped thinking. i'm not awake. my eyes are open and my mind is working overtime, but i've stopped thinking. the past two weeks have been amazing. i've been living, or so i thought. my stomach is turning. i'm losing again. so i push harder, because i won't lose again. i feel myself start to tingle and i have to stop. then i feel myself start to burn, and i have to stop again. i would have liked to have cried.