2004-07-07 >>>>> -

it's really not that hard, why do i have to say it? it's not that hard to figure out it's not. fuck. desperate like a bad movie. i can't be in my head, i need to do something. how did i manage to cause so much hurt? why is everyone sick? why does everyone feel like shit? why do i have to feel like i can't come to anyone, why do feel like everyone is letting me down, why doesn't anyone ask me how i'm feeling and how can they help what can they do to make me feel better remove me remove me remove me remove you for watching and doing nothing when you can it's so easy it's so easy just talk talk talk TALK and say you're there keep saying it over and over and over because i'm so lost and i'm losing again and again and again and it's too much and too painful and this is not fair and i don't want to keep drying my own eyes i don't want to be sitting alone i don't want to do it by myself i don't want to end up bitter oh fuck what the fuck whatever.

fuckfuckfuck fuckfuckfuc kfuckfukcufkcufkcukfu ckfukcuf kcufkcukfuckfu ckfukcuckfucku fkcukfcukfuckuf kcufkcu kfcuk fuckufkcuf kcuckfukfcukfuck uckukfhgdg hisurhgufnl

what am i supposed to do? why is it so hard to say IAMHEREFORYOU.......... is it because no one actually is? so many people. SO. MANY. PEOPLE. i don't want everyone to be shallow. i don't want to THINK everyone is shallow. i am sure they are not.

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