am i ok? oh, you're already killing me again. maybe this is not a good idea. i can't believe you stood me up.

i've nothing to do. i get home at three, read for twenty minutes, cry. sleep, wake up crying, eat, walk around the apartment aimlessly, cry, eat, sleep. i am tired constantly. and what is it with all this crying? i cry on the train to school, and on the train back home. i can't control it. i'm not even that depressed - or am i?

i really just don't know what to do. meh.