i'm trying so hard to be ok for you, so hard and it's so intense i forget who i am and why i am doing this. i don't want to lose her, and i don't want to be left with him. after everything i have put them through, i know she's sick because of me, and i hate myself for it. and i hate her for not knowing how to help me and how to help us all. i'm 8 years old again, and every one is yelling and i can't move, because there is a knife involved and time is not enough. time was never enough to heal me, because i am one big open wound.