i don't know. i really don't. everything is just. blurry. it feels like i am tied, to myself. or something. i am stuck in a feeling, stuck in a moment, a stage of my life. i can't seem to get out of it.

i don't want to be depressed, and i try not to be, but lately i just can't help it. i don't know how long i have to wait until this medicine works, i just know that something must be happening, because it's hit me so strongly.

i feel very lonely. and it seems the longer i wait, the more humanity proves itself to be pure shit. i hate broken promises.