fuck this. fuckit. fuck fuck fuck. i hate him. i hate myself for not being able to let go. i hate that i am crying, i hate that i want him back. fucking fucking asshole dick bastard idiot i hate him! and i miss him so much. stupid stupid stupid me.

i don't ever want to have feelings again. never. never never never. feelings are stupid, and you only get hurt. and. fuck the countdown. fuck it. i am sick and tired of crying and hurting and hating and everything. i am sick of everything. pathetic stupid losers just need to die.

one less. no more countdown. i am done waiting.